"Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air; we’re going out tonight.
John Watson: Actually, I’ve got a date.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
John Watson: It’s when two people who like each other go out and have fun…
Sherlock Homes: That’s what I was suggesting.
John Watson: No, it wasn’t. At least, I hope not."  - Sherlock BBC: The Blind Banker

"

Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge.

"Watson" he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.

"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"

Watson thinks for a moment. “Well,” he says, “astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignficant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?”

"Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

"  - Thomas Cathcart, Daniel Klein